


Home For Christmas

by Fannibalistic



Category: The Expendables (Movies)
Genre: British Slang, Flirting, Friends to Lovers, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Jealousy, Kissing, M/M, Mission Fic, Post-Canon, Pre-Slash, Rough Kissing, Touching, after E3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-14
Updated: 2019-07-17
Packaged: 2019-10-10 02:44:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 12,499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17417534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fannibalistic/pseuds/Fannibalistic
Summary: Never written an Expendables fic before and I'm having those "writing for a new fandom nerves" , lol.Hope anyone who reads this one enjoys it! There will be more chapters, coming asap but I'm notoriously bad at fic updates (sorry in advance) :)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Never written an Expendables fic before and I'm having those "writing for a new fandom nerves" , lol.
> 
> Hope anyone who reads this one enjoys it! There will be more chapters, coming asap but I'm notoriously bad at fic updates (sorry in advance) :)

 

Lee looked up from cleaning his knives, each one laid out in front of him on a table, and frowned at the figure approaching him from the open hangar door.

“What the bloody hell are you doing here?”

 

“It’s a pleasure to see you again too, Christmas. I’ve missed trying to work out what you’re saying.”

“Hilarious. What do you want?”

“I have a job. I want to speak to you and Barney.”

Lee pursed his lips and Drummer could tell he was was seconds away from telling him to piss off.

“I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t important.”

After another few moments hesitation, Lee nodded once and started to turn and head to get Barney, but turned back and looked at Drummer.  “That was uh…” He shrugged his shoulders.”…not a bad bit of flying you did in  Azmenistan. The boss probably wouldn’t be here to be busting my balls on a daily basis if you hadn’t hung around like that.”

“If I could decipher what you just said, “ Drummer replied with a wry smile, “I’d say, ‘you’re welcome’.”

Lee returned the same smile and turned to call out over his shoulder. "Barney! The spy who thinks he’s a pilot wants a word with us!”

Barney emerged from the back of the plane where he’d been tinkering with one of the many things that needed fixing right now, wiping engine oil from his hands with a cloth already covered with engine oil.

“Drummer? Didn’t think we’d be seeing you again. At least not so soon.”

“Well, I just couldn’t keep away.” Drummer gestured around himself. “The decor and ambience, and your friend here who speaks English as a foreign language.”

“Oh yeah I forgot to say, he’s still a total wanker.” Lee said to Barney as he dropped down onto the worn sofa in what constituted a lounge area further into the hangar.

Barney sat down next to him and Drummer looked down at the armchair opposite them, eyeing the scuffed leather and cigar burns before reluctantly sitting down on it.

His name,” Drummer put a file on the table and opened it to a photograph of a man, handsome and maybe in his late thirties. “Is Artemis Crane.”

“And why are you interested in him?”

“Human trafficking. He specialises in children. Shipping them in and out of various countries like cattle for forced labour and illegal adoptions.”

Barney’s eyes narrowed.

“Bastard,” said Lee.

“Indeed. Which is why we want him out of business. But I need him alive. This can’t be another Stonebanks  incident.”

Barney tensed up at the mention of his name, and the implication from Drummer that things hadn’t gone to plan before. Something in Drummer’s face changed though, and made Barney bite back what he was about to say in retaliation.

“There are survivors. Kids that have been rescued, they and their families deserve to see justice done. I want to give them their day in court.”

 

Barney nodded slowly. “So where do we come in?”

 

“I want you two to pose as a couple.”

 

“A couple?”

 

“Me and Barney?”

 

“Is that going to be a problem?”

 

Lee and Barney just looked at each other and seemed to contemplate it for a moment before shrugging.

“No, but no one’s gonna believe _he_  pulled _me_. I’m clearly a ten and….”

“Finish that sentence Christmas, I dare you.”

 

“Well,” Drummer cut in, trying to move the conversation along to the actual plan. “Couples come in all shapes and sizes these days, so-" 

 

Barney nodded and carried on talking to Lee as if Drummer wasn’t even there. “Just look at Trench and Yang.”

 

“Yeah but how does that work exactly though…I mean….” Lee gestured with his hands the height difference.

 

“You’ve really given that some thought?”

 

“Well it doesn’t keep me up at night but yeah.”

 

“Jesus, you need a hobby.”

 

“Sorry, “Drummer cut in again, “ I shouldn’t have said you’d have to pose as a couple, you seem to have that already covered.”

Lee and Barney turned to him as if they’d just remembered he was there and both opened their mouths to say something but Drummer was already standing up. He pointed at the folder.

“This contains all the intel you’ll need when you get to London and - “

 

“London?!” Lee exclaimed.

 

“Yes, Christmas, you’re going home. Back to where everyone talks like you, presumably, so you'll fit right in for a change. As I was saying, Crane is a rich man, a rich gay man. He has a small inner circle comprised of close associates involved in the same dodgy dealings, and his security team. The only exceptions are his conquests. The only time he lets anyone else in is when he’s pursuing someone romantically.  I need you two to pose as a wealthy couple and gain his trust. Hopefully he’ll like one of you, hey maybe even both." 

Lee and Barney arched their eyebrows and looked at each other again before turning back to Drummer who was now heading to the hangar entrance where his own security detail was waiting for him at his car. 

“Oh and Barney?” He called over his shoulder as he put his sunglasses on.

“Yeah?

“Don’t you and your British BFF fuck this up.”

 


	2. Mr and Mr Ross

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lee and Barney arrive in London

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Excited to finally get chapter 2 out! I'm loving writing this story :) 
> 
> Thanks for the kudos so far, hope you guys enjoy this one!

 

 

“Jesus, crack a smile would ya? “

Lee was stone-faced as he and Barney got out of the car that had brought them to the hotel.

“I thought you might be happy to be on this side of the Atlantic.”

 

“Yeah well…..” Lee looked around, taking in some of the sights and sounds that had once been so familiar to him. “Not the happiest of memories. Why the bloody hell do you think Imoved halfway across the world to surround myself with Yanks? Cos I needed the airmiles?”

 

The past was the past, for all of them, Barney understood that.  And sometimes the past was best left where it was. 

 

Their bags were taken inside and they made their way to the reception desk where they were greeted by a young brunette woman. “Checking in?”

 

“Yeah.” Barney returned her smile. “The name’s Ross.”

 

The woman, whose name badge read ‘Cathy’, looked at her computer screen. “Mr….and Mr Ross?”She looked only momentarily surprised and then, smiling warmly, carried on with the check-in process she’d done so many times it was second nature to her now.  “We have you booked into the Aquarius Suite. You’ll have beautiful views of the city.”

 

 

“Thank you., Cathy.”Barney smiled again as he took the key card from her then turned to Lee. “Come on, honey, let’s go check out our suite.”

 

Lee forced a smile. “Can’t wait. Sweetheart.” As soon as they were out of earshot and entering an empty elevator Lee couldn’t wait to drop the pretence. “I don’t see why I had to take _your_ name. Is that how our marriage works, you get your own way all the bloody time?”

 

“Well, 'Mr and Mr Christmas' didn’t sound very authentic.”

 

“ ** _And_** she was fit and I couldn’t even hit on her.”

 

“Actually I’m pretty sure that out of the two of us she wished _I_ wasn’t gay.”

 

“Bullshit.”

 

The elevator pinged and it was only a few steps to the door of their suite. They entered the room to find the concierge placing their bags on the floor and looked around the spacious suite.

“Very nice,” Lee said as he wandered through from the living room area to a large bedroom and peeked into the equally large bathroom.

 

“At least something put a smile on your face,” Barney said as he gave the concierge a generous tip, it wasn’t his money after all, it was Drummer’s.

 

Lee was already undoing the buttons on his shirt by the time the door closed behind the young man and eyeing up the suitcase that held his hoody and t-shirts. Barney smiled and shook his head slightly, watching Lee who was now checking out the mini bar and still fiddling with his buttons, He was about to say something about how Lee wasn't even wearing a tie, how could he be that uncomfortable but thought better of it, Instead, he held up the file Drummer had given them as he sat down on what he decided was probably the most confirmable sofa his ass had ever met.

“So, we know he sits at a private table in the bar most nights. We need to go down for dinner or drinks or whatever tonight and make sure we catch his attention.”

 

Lee nodded, realising he wasn’t going to get to put on his hoody for a few hours yet.

 

“Gimme your hand.”

 

“What?”

 

“We’re supposed to look like a couple so we’d better start practising just the little things that’ll make it seem like we actually are.

Now gimme your damn hand, Christmas.”

 

Lee frowned and put his hand in Barney’s,

 

“Pretend I’m the girl from the front desk if you have to.”

 

“And who are you picturing, then? Maggie?”

 

“Where did that come from?”

 

Lee shrugged. “Last woman I saw you take in interest in. And fuck knows why but she liked you back, it was obvious. “

 

There was something in Lee’s face that Barney couldn’t read.“Maybe.” He replied.

 

“So why’d you just let her go like that?”

 

“You know better than anybody why.This life, what we do, isn’t exactly made for happy healthy relationships. “

 

“Nothing’s perfect, Barney,And she knew the life, she lives it too. Maybe that was some kind of perfect or the closest you’re gonna get.”

 

“You’ve been spending too much time with Toll talking about his therapist.”

 

“Piss off Barney, you know it makes sense.”

 

Neither looked away from the other for several seconds, though it felt to them both like longer.

Lee suddenly let go of Barney’s hand. “I’m off for a shower, at least it’ll give me a break out of this bloody suit. “ He walked across the room, already starting to take off his partially unbuttoned shirt.

 

“I’m gonna take a walk, check out the hotel and see what intel I can gather with my own eyes.”

 

“I’ll be ready for dinner when you get back,” Lee called over his shoulder as he headed into the bathroom and closed the door behind him, leaving Barney standing for a few moments, wondering what the hell had just happened and what that conversation had really been about.

 

 

 

*****************

 

 

 

 

Lee _was_ ready when Barney got back, but he hadn’t bargained for Barney also wanting to shower and change.He grumbled under his breath, letting Barney know he wasn’t happy to be waiting around in his suit longer than he had to be but by the time Barney was done and entered the living room of their suite, showered, dressed and fastening some cufflinks, Lee was sat on the enormous comfortable sofa with his feet up on the coffee table, drinking beer from the minibar and watching football on the massive flatscreen tv. 

Barney started to grin and Lee held up a hand. “Don’t say a bloody word, I had to keep myself occupied with something. And I swear to God if you call it soccer I’ll kick your arse all the way back to the States.”

 

 

Less than five minutes later they walked into the grand bar and restaurant downstairs, turning more than a few heads immediately. But not, they both noticed the one head they were hoping to turn.  A Maitre ’D seated them at a table with something more like a sofa than actual chairs. They sat side by side and even closer than they normally would have. A waiter arrived to take their drink orders and returned less than a minute later with a Scotch for Barney and beer for Lee.

Seconds after taking his first sip, Lee put his glass down and leaned in, making it seem as if he were casually whispering something in his 'husband's' ear. “We have an audience.”

 

“Artemis?”

 

“Yeah. Just walked in behind you. With two guards that look like Trench and Gunner. Only taller.”

 

“Funny how Drummer didn’t mention that.”

 

“Told you he was still a wanker.”

Lee waited until Artemis had been seated and his bodyguards sat as casually as two men of their size could at the table right next to him.“Better make it look convincing.” He let his arm casually rest on the back of their seat, allowing his hand to lay on Barney’s shoulder,stroking with one finger across the fabric that they both knew hid the tattoos underneath.

 

“You do this with all the girls?”

 

“Why? You Jealous?”

 

Lee’s eyes looked back at Barney so intently, his smile a sultry one that he’d never seen before on Lee’s face and right now it was all focused on him.

“Not right now.”Barney leaned in close this time, whispering low and softly right next to Lee’s ear. “‘Cos _I’m_ here and they’re not.”

 

Lee licked his lips involuntarily, suddenly aware that his mouth had gone dry and he wasn’t sure why. But Barney was obviously making this a competition now and Lee was happy to oblige by competing. He moved his hand from Barney’s shoulder and rested the side of his head on it, an angle that let him keep an eye on Artemis and still look like he was gazing at his “husband.” Then, as casually as before, he rested his other hand on Barney's leg, just above his knee. He got the reaction he was hoping for, a momentary eyebrow raise from Barney before he played along and put his own hand on top of Lee’s.As Barney considered what he’d do next to up the stakes in this unspoken competition, he realised he was enjoying this. And not just the usual back and forth, trying to outdo each other. _He was actually turned on._

 

They were interrupted by a waiter carrying a tray with two whiskeys on it.

“From the man at the far table. “ He said, lowering the tray for them both to reach it.

 

Lee’s hand moved finally to take his drink from the tray, and Barney hoped his sigh of relief wasn’t audible to him and the waiter. but as he reached for his own drink he realised with some confusion that he already missed the sensation of Lee’s warm, heavy hand on his body.

 

They raised their glasses in Artemis’s direction and he returned the gesture.

 

“Got him,” Lee said under his breath.

 

“Now we reel him in.”

 


	3. Awake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the lovely comments and the kudos again! I'm really enjoying coming up with ideas for each new chapter and so happy people are enjoying it! 
> 
> The next chapter might be a bit delayed, as it's going to be a bit longer or might be split into 2 chapters, not sure yet :) 
> 
> Hope you enjoy this short one meanwhile!

 

 

From his place on the comfortable sofa, Barney could see into the bedroom where Lee was sleeping. Well, not so much sleeping but tossing and turning, much like Barney had been for at least a couple of hours.

Every now and again when he heard the sheets rustle as Lee moved around in the kingsize bed, Barney watched him for a few moments and noted how the mixture of moonlight and street lamps sneaking in through the curtains played across his bare shoulders and chest.  He closed his eyes, trying to will his friend's moonlit body from his mind, and hoped that when they swapped rooms tomorrow night it would be easier not to see him. 

 

So this time when he heard more rustling of bedcovers, Barney decided not to look.  Which is why he nearly jumped out of his skin a few seconds later when Lee's voice came out of the darkness somewhere above him. 

“Can’t sleep either?”

 

"Jesus!" Barney exclaimed, sitting up suddenly and turning the nearby lamp on.

 

"You're a fucking mercenary, Barney, how did you not hear me coming in from the next bloody room?"

 

"Because you were right there in bed just a second ago and no, I can't sleep but I had my eyes closed trying."

 

Lee's eyebrows furrowed but a smirk was playing at his lips. "Keeping an eye on your husband were ya?"

 

Barney's neck felt suddenly warm and he hoped to God that the slight blush that was creeping across his skin wasn't visible under the lamplight. "I was doing the same as you, checking if I wasn't the only one who can't sleep."

 

“Well, in that case," Lee said, making his way across the room, "Thank fuck for the mini bar.”  He returned with two bottles and sat down heavily next to Barney, handing him one.

 

“Thank fuck we’re not paying for it,” Barney said as they clinked bottles together. 

 

Lee laughed. "Yeah well, giving us a stocked mini bar in a fancy suite is the least Drummer can do.  He's slowly redeeming himself but I still haven't forgotten how he nearly flew off without you. "

 

"He was doing what he had to do. And he didn't fly off...'cos of you." The same silence that had arrived so suddenly yesterday as they'd practiced handholding descended on them again. 

"You'd miss me that much, honey?" Barney said with a grin, breaking the tension. 

 

 

“Well, I wouldn’t miss the snoring."

 

"I've barely slept at all, how can I have been snoring?!"

 

"Dunno, but you managed it. And this ain't the first time we've had to share a close space and sleep near each other remember?"

 

"If you're talking about Morocco....."

 

"Oh, so you do remember?" 

 

"I do, yeah, and you can take that grin off your face, Christmas before I take it off for you."

 

"We had to spend the night underneath an uptuned Landrover in the middle of the bloody desert and you _still_ manged to fall asleep **_and_** snore!"

 

Barney started to laugh. "It was only you and me there, so I only have your word for it."

 

"You scared a couple of passing camels an' all."  Lee burst into laughter and Barney just laughed even harder. 

 

The silence fell once more when the laughter died down and it was Lee who spoke first. “But yeah….yeah course I’d miss ya."

 

They were looking at each other again, a few seconds too long, just like yesterday. _And_ , just like yesterday, Lee looked away first, got up to walk over to the window. He moved the curtain back enough to look out at the city, bustling as it did even at this hour.

 

Barney wasn’t sure what to say. He wasn't even sure if Lee was looking out wistfully or reliving a thousand bad memories that only an unexpected and unwanted homecoming could bring. 

“You know, it’a a shame we don’t have time for you to show me around.You must have some good memories at least.”

 

Lee sighed again, louder this time and his smile was somewhere between sad and rueful. “A couple, I s’pose, yeah.” He let go of the curtain took a long drink from his beer before turning around to face Barney, wishing the alcohol was having more of an effect on him. Wishing, in this moment, that he was better at stuff like this. _Talking._ “Maybe next time.  I’m gonna…. “ He gestured with his bottle in the direction of the bedroom, “Try and get some more sleep.”

 

Barney nodded.

 

“Night Barney.” Lee said as he set his bottle down on the coffee table and headed for the other room. 

 

“Night Christmas.”

 

 

“That’s Mr Ross to you,” Lee said turning back momentarily with another one of his trademark grins on his face.

 

Barney switched the lamp back off and laid down, hoping to get some proper sleep himself. But as he closed his eyes and listened to the familiar rustling of sheets in the next room, he found himself wondering, yet again, what they’d really been saying to each other in the words they’d left unsaid.

 


	4. It's Not You, It's Him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off, I'm gonna thank everyone once again for the kudos and awesome comments :) Seriously, you guys are making me smile so much and cheering me up at a time when things aren't so cheery :)
> 
> This chapter took a bit longer as predicted because there was a lot to pack in, plot wise, and I wanted to get the tone right with their banter and intimacy. And I didn't end up splitting it into 2 to get some of it out sooner so it's a nice longer chapter for you all to hopefully enjoy :)

 

 

“There's nothing like a full English,” Lee said, pushing his empty plate away.

He and Barney were sat in the hotel restaurant again, this time having breakfast. After the sleepless night they’d both had Barney was on his third cup of coffee and he’d been eyeing Lee devouring everything on his plate wondering how he was even conscious enough to chew.

 

“Is that a euphemism for something?”

 

“Did you just use the word, ‘euphemism'?”

 

“What, you don’t think I know any big words?”

 

“No, I know you do, but the big words you usually use are the names of weapons or some war-torn country you’re sending us off to.

And I was talking about the food.  We call that,” Lee pointed to his empty plate, “A ’Full English Breakfast'."

 

"That plate of cholesterol has a name?"

 

"Are you slagging off British food again?"

 

"I don't know, I've got no clue what you just said."

 

"It means insulting."

 

"Oh, then yeah. Definitely.  And I don’t know how you can eat all that anyway and not be clinically obese.”

 

“It’s all about moderation Barney.” Lee took a gulp of orange juice. “And does that mean you’ve noticed my figure?”

 

“I’ve noticed how much you eat.’

 

“Alright that’s it, I want a divorce.”

 

They were still ‘discussing’ food and which side of the Atlantic had the best when they returned to their suite. Not only had it been cleaned but a large gift basket containing a bottle of the Scotch that Barney had been drinking last night in the bar and several bottles of the beer Lee had ordered was sat on the coffee table in the living room. 

 

"He got our room number," Lee said, his brow furrowing as he read the card attached to the basket. It simply said, **_'From the man at the far table.'_**

 

"You know what it said in the file from Drummer, he's been staying here for years and has some of the staff in his pocket. He probably slipped one of them some cash to put it in here."

 

“I know, but…it’s intense though innit?”Is this what women have to put up with from creepy blokes all the time?"

 

Barney raised his eyebrows. 

 

“Don’t look at me like that, I’m not a bloody caveman.”

 

“No, you just eat like one.”

 

“Is that any way to talk to your husband?”

 

“Well, maybe I want a divorce now too.”

 

“Course you do,” Lee said pulling his hoody off over his head. “ _I’m_ an unexpected feminist and _you_ casually used a four syllable word before ten am. It’s been a funny old day so far, so why not add imaginary divorce from my fake husband to the list?”He threw the hoody at Barney to stop him grinning.“I’m off for a shower.”

 

“Didn't you take one before breakfast?”

 

“I was knackered, Barney. And bloody starving.”

 

“Well,it’s good to know you have priorities and that personal hygiene  comes third.”

 

“Ha ha, you should do stand up.Just don’t give up your day job.”

 

“I don’t have a day job.”

 

“Exactly.”

  
  
Lee disappeared into the bathroom and Barney settled onto the sofa which seemed comfortable again after feeling anything but last night when he was tossing and turning on it. He switched on the massive tv and tried to focus on the morning show hosts with their British accents but his mind was wandering. The sound of the shower seemedto resonate in his ears, bringing with it images of Lee’s naked shoulders and chest from last night, this time drenched in water, droplets trailing a path down his taut stomach, cascading down his hips and further to-

“No.” Barney was startled to hear his own voice in the room and wondered if Lee had heard him too. Then he realised that he couldn’t hear the shower running anymore and then the door opened behind him.

 

“Did you say something just now?” Lee asked, emerging from the bathroom with a towel tied around his waist.

 

“No, it was the …uh…tv. Some morning show I guess.“

 

There was a knock at the door and they both looked at each other. Lee went to look through the peephole and stepped back with an expression that was a mixture of surprise and annoyance. Heput a finger to his lips andthen mouthed, “It’s him.”

Barney nodded once and motioned with his hand that he was going to hide in the wardrobe, which incidentally was nearly as big the bedroom itself.

Lee opened the door and put on what he was sure was his most flirtatious smile, looking straight at Artemis and ignoring the two bodyguards he’d brought with him.“You must be, ‘the man from the far table’.  And the reason we’ve got a big basket of booze in our suite.”

 

“You can call me Artemis,” he said, outstretching his hand.

 

Lee shook it and stepped aside, gesturing for him to come in. The Trench and Gunnar lookalikes stationed themselves at either side of the door as Artemis closed it behind him. 

 

"To what do I owe the pleasure?"

 

“Your husband not around?”

 

“Gone out for cigars.”

 

“The ones they sell at the hotel shop aren’t good enough for him?”

 

“He’s a man of very specific tastes.”

 

Artemis looked Lee up and down. “I can see that.”

 

“And uh….do you like what you see?” Lee stepped closer, crowding Artemis who was nearly his height but seemed smaller because of his slight build.

 

“Very much so.”

 

Unseen in the wardrobe, Barney’s hand involuntarily clenched into a fist. He’d left the door ajar just enough to keep eye on things and now risked peeking through the very slight gap. He saw Lee, with a small, sultry smile on his face, walk away from Artemis and sit on the bed. He opened his legs so that the towel split and rode up a little but the fabric still tantalisingly covered what was underneath.Artemis walked slowly over to the bed and stood over him. Lee leaned back on both hands, encouraging him to lean down till they were nearly face to face.

“I like to be in control.”

 

“I noticed.But the thing is…” Lee said, taking hold of Artemis and bringing him down onto the bed, moving swiftly so he was on top of him, strong arms either side or Artemis's head. “….so do I. That’s not gonna be a problem is it?”

 

“Not at all.I’m happy to finally get you alone. Your husband is a little…rough around the edges for me.”

 

“And there I was thinking I’m your bit of rough.”

 

“Oh, you are,” Artemis said with a smirk, “But Barney looks like the kind of guy who’s covered with tattoos under his suits and that just doesn’t do it for me.”

 

“How do you know I’m not covered in tattoos under this towel?”

 

“Well….you could always show me.” Artemis placed a hand on the knot in Lee’s towel, and Lee put his own hand on top of his, once again showing him who was really in charge right now.

 

“Aren’t you at least gonna buy me dinner first?”

 

“Oh, you like to be wined and dined? I can do that.”

 

“I want dinner, I want drinks. And then….I want you.”

 

“I’m dessert?”

 

“You’re anything I want you to be.” 

 

Artemis’s jaw dropped just enough for Lee to know he wasn’t used to anyone talking to him like that. He let his words hang in the air for a few moments before moving back and standing up.

“He’ll be back any minute.”

 

“I’ll see you tonight, then, “Artemis said as he got up too, smoothing down his shirt and jacket, regaining his composure. “Around eight in my suite?”

 

Lee nodded once and Artemis headed for the door as nonchalantly as he’d entered the room but unable to resist looking back before he left for one final look at what he thought he was getting a piece of that night.

 

Barney emerged from the wardrobe when he heard the door close. 

“Quite a show you put on.”

 

“Yeah, well, ‘Reel him in’, you said.”

 

“And what are you gonna do tonight?”

 

“I’ve got a plan.”

 

“Oh, you’ve gota plan?”

 

“Yes, I’ve got a bloody plan! Why are you being such a wanker all of a sudden? Look if you’re jealous or something ‘cos apparently he fancies me more then don’t-“

 

“That’s not it, Christmas.”

 

“...'Cos do you really think I want a bastard like that after me?!”

 

“I said that’s not it!”

 

“Then what the bloody hell’s the matter with ya?!”

 

“It’s not you I’m jealous of, it’s him!”

 

And for the first time since Barney had known him, Lee didn’t have a snappy comeback.There was silence in the room once again and half of Barney wished he could take back every word he’d just said and the other half was relieved.

 

“Fucking ‘ell Barney.” Lee’s voice once again pierced the silence. They stood there looking at each other, Lee still in his towel, the few feet between them in the room feeling like acrater from the revelatory bomb that Barney had just dropped.

 

“His hands on you….the things you were saying to him….I wanted to rip his head off and….”

 

“And?”

 

 ** _Fuck you._  **Those were the unspoken words that hung in the air, just above the imaginary crater. And this time Barney knew that Lee heard them too.

 

“Fuck.” And then Lee was walking, across the space between them and through the invisible words. He grabbed Barney by the back of his neck and pulled him in, crushing Barney’s lips with his own. And Barney didn’t pull away. He was too shocked to respond for a second or two but then felt his body press up against Lee’s, muscle on muscle. Fabric on skin. Like they’d always fitted together like this, they just didn’t know it till now.

 

They only broke apart moments later for air, Lee looking at him as intently as he had the previous night in the bar before kissing him roughly again. Barney walked him backwards to the bed and they fell onto it, still kissing.

Barney’s hand went to the towel, exactly where Artemis’s had been just a few minutes earlier. But Barney got a very different response

 

“Fuck…take it off.”

 

And Barney did. Looking down between kisses to take in the sight of Lee’s bare thighs and hips and everything that hung in-between.

 

“Hey, my eyes are up here.”There was a smirk on Lee’s face. That familiar curve on his already perfectly curved lips that Barney had noticed a thousand times before but always tried to shrug off.

“You have seen me naked before.”

 

“This isn’t a locker room at the gym. This is different.It…. _feels differen_ t.” 

 

Lee's smirk fell away, replaced with the look Barney had come to know as, ' _Yeah I know, but_ I _wish you hadn't said i_ t.'  The few seconds that followed seemed to last an eternity, each man thinking the other might back out now, until Lee pulled at Barney's t-shirt and Barney let him take it off over his head.

 

“I don’t know what I’m doing.”

 

“Me neither. Right pair of virgins aren’t we?” Lee said, and Barney laughed. And Lee revelled in it because there was nothing like the sound of Barney’s laughter, soft and deep. And nothing in the world like making him laugh.

 

“There’s no coming back from this.”

 

“Is stopping really an option?”

 

Barney shook his head slowly, almost in time with their heavy breaths that seemed to be the only sound in the world right now. He moved off the bed enough to take off his pants and underwear and Lee’s mouth went dry again. He watched Barney open the drawer in the bedside table and take out some complimentary hand lotion they’d found when rooting around the room on their first night.

 

“Oh, so we’re using the fancy stuff?”

 

“If we’re doing this…might as well do it right.” Barney got back on the bed and poured some onto his hand, rubbing it against the other one to massage it in and thentook hold of Lee’s cock which was now as rock hard as his own. Unsure what to do next he started stroking him, hesitantly at first then faster, holding him firmer. They leaned into each other, almost involuntarily, their bodies pulled together as though gravity depended on it.  Barney felt Lee’s strong hand on his cock, as familiarly heavy as it had felt yesterday night on his leg in the bar. The same tingles ran through his body, and this time, he let himself make a sound so Lee heard him. A long, low sound somewhere between a gasp and a growl that was met by a bite to his neck, soft enough to leave only the lightest of marks, but sharp enough to let him know he’d been marked.

 

“Fuck” Lee almost whispered as Barney stroked harder, bringing him so very close to the edge. Resisting the overwhelming urge to just fall into it, he stroked faster too, lips still pressed to Barney’s neck as he felt his friend's fingertips and then nails grip his shoulder.

 

“Are you really tryin’ to……make this a competition?”

 

Lee laughed breathlessly. “Maybe……. or maybe I just wanna make it last now we’re finally doing it.”

 

Barney pulled back enough to look into his eyes “Well….I’m not complaining.”

 

“Makes a bloody change.”

 

And there it was again, Barney’s laugh. Low, familiar, and this time breathless.

“Fuck it,” Lee said softly, finally giving in.The same way he’d usually say _“Fuck it. yeah, I’ll have another beer.”_  Because sooner _or_ later it was inevitable and now he was falling, he couldn't wait to actually land. Barney’s fingers pressed harder into his skin, leaving marks he couldn’t see yet.Unfamiliar warmth splashed his body and filled his hand and letting go felt even better because Barney’s heat burned so beautifully on his skin. His jaw slackened as Barney’s cock twitched and jerked in his hand with the final few pumps and Lee let his body shudder against Barney’s. They collapsed back onto the pillows and now stained sheets and there was silence in the air again, accompanied only by their shallow breaths. The room grew quieter as their breathing did, and neither was quite ready to look at the other just yet. Lee grabbed the box of tissues that sat on the bedside table next to him, pulled some out for himself before handing the box to Barney. There was a moments glance between them before they cleaned up and only after that did Barney finally find some words. Well, sort of.

 

“So….?”

 

“If you’re gonna ask me, ‘what now’, I’ve got no fucking idea.” Lee sighed. “I’ve just fucked my best mate.”

 

“Technically, I was already fucking you and really technically that was jerking off, not fucking.”

 

Lee looked right at him. ”Are you bloody kidding me?We just did…. ** _that_  **and you’re taking the piss with semantics?”

 

”That’s only three syllables. I still win with ‘euphemism'.”

 

And then they were laughing again. And actually looking at each other.

“I still don’t know where we go from here.”

 

“Me neither. Another shower might be a good start though,” Lee said, looking down at himself and then gesturing to Barney’s body too.

 

Barney nodded, smiling ruefully. “You still haven’t told me your plan.”

 

Lee looked like he was about to start filling him in and then he broke into another grin and climbed off the bed instead. “I’ll tell you on the way.”

 

“On the way where?”

 

“Put your knickers on, Barney.I’m taking you out.”

 

 

 


	5. The Past Is The Past

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh, I haven't been well so this one has taken forever to finish despite having it all mapped out in my head! Excited to finally get it out there and see what you all think! :)  
> I want to just give a heads up about the use of a particular word in this chapter, a character recounts a memory where someone uses a homophobic slur. I debated for a bit whether to leave it in and only decided to because it's integral to the story. Just wanted to let you all know though and especially in case it's a potential trigger for anyone. 
> 
> All your awesome comments gave encouraged me and kept me smiling once again as I write, special mention goes to dont_be_hasty who inspired a big part of this chapter with a comment on chapter 3 ;) 
> 
> There'll be 2 more chapters after this (all mapped out in my head again, lol) the next one being quite long and not the kind of thing I'm used to writing so it'll take a little while 'cos I want to make sure I get it right :) The final one will be short but sweet ;)
> 
> Hope you all enjoy this one!

 

 

 

“That shower’s big enough for two,” Barney said as Lee walked into the bathroom ahead of him.

 

“That’s a bad idea.”

 

“Afraid you won’t be able to resist me?”

 

“I just don’t want to tire you out, I’m married to an older man after all. Now stay there, I’ll only be a minute and then you can hop in after me.”

Lee didn't shut the door before he got in the shower, didn't seem much point in privacy now, not after the way this day was unexpectedly going. And he wasn't even surprised when the inevitable happened after he'd only been in there for a couple of minutes. Even with his eyes closed he could see Barney standing in the doorway, leaning on the frame with one strong tattooed arm.

“Well don’t just stand there staring at my arse Barney, get in.”

 

There was a low chuckle behind him and the sound of bare footsteps before he felt the warmth of Barney's chest on his back and strong hands planted themselves firmly either side of his head on the tiled wall.

 

“Couldn’t help yourself?”

 

“Or maybe I was just cold.”

 

Lee turned around, facing him, still caged by his arms. But not for long. He moved swiftly and caught Barney off guard, shoved him, not quite gently against the wall, pinning his arms to the tiles. 

“Getting warmer?”

 

Barney moved his arms, pushing back against him, not resisting but to see what he’d do next. But Lee held firm. Very firm.

“I liketo be in control remember?”He felt Barney’s cock harden between their bodies.

“Enjoy that bit did ya, watching from the wardrobe?” He took hold of him and started stroking,“Yeah I saw you. Over that bastard’s shoulder, “

 

“I was supposed to be watching, in case things turned bad.”

 

“And last night, what was your excuse then?”

 

Barney pushed his head back against the tiles, the only thing that felt still in the room right now. Everything else was in motion. Lee’s hand, the heat swirling within him threatening to overflow at any moment, and then Lee’s lips. those surprisingly soft lips with the unmistakable curve, pressing and dancing across his neck and collarbone.

 

“Were you watching me?”

 

“Were you?”

 

“What do you think?”

 

“I wanna hear you say it.”

 

There was another bite to Barney’s skin, a little harder than the others.

“I was watching you, Mr Ross. Tossing and turning all bloody night.”

 

“Fuck.”Barney’s blunt fingernails once again sunk into Lee’s damp skin as he came in his hand.  When Lee moved back and they were eye to eye again,Barney knew from the expression on his face that they were both thinking the same thing.

 ** _This wasn’t a one-off anymore._** If it had ever been that.

He put his hand on Lee’s hard length but Lee put a hand over his. Something that was becoming quite a habit for him today.

 

“Use your mouth. You’re good at that usually.”

 

“So are you.”

 

“How about…..”Lee leaned in, speaking so close to Barney’s ear that he felt every word, “…I go second, when we get back?”

 

Barney considered it for a moment before shaking his head in bemusement at himself and what he was about to do. “Wherever we’re going, this little trip better be worth it,” he said as he dropped to his knees. He took hold of Lee in his strong hand, a sensation Lee was not only becoming accustomed to but was also starting to crave. Barney hesitated but not nearly as long as he’d thought he would. And then Lee was in his mouth. Wide and wet, and very, ** _very_** hard. Pulsing on his tongue and filling his throat in a barrage of new sensations that were all at once uncomfortable and addictive.

Lee felt his lips, full and surprisingly skilful, move across his own taut skin and resisted the urge he had to grab a fistful of that jet black hair. **_With both goddamn hands._** He hadn’t expected it to be this good.

 

“You sure you haven’t done this before?”

 

Barney looked up at him and Lee could’ve actually laughed at how he was managing to give him a look that said, ”Are you fucking serious?” while still sucking his cock. But he didn’t. He couldn’t manage more than a sound somewhere between a chuckle and a gasp. He was close and he knew it. But what he didn’t know was if he was ready to come in Barney’s mouth, leave alone if Barney was ready for that to happen either.

“Wait,” he said suddenly but softly, and pulled out from the sublime grip of Barney’s lips. Lee pulled him up and they were face to face for a moment, eyes wide and chests breathless before he turned Barney gently to face the wall. He pushed up hard against him, one palm on the cool tiles to steady himself, and pressed his lips once again to Barney’s kindled skin. The back of his neck. Across his shoulder blades. All the while stroking himself, his hard cock moving against Barney’s ass.

Barney risked putting a hand over his on the wall, and when he didn’t pull away Barney interlocked their fingers and almost smiled to himself when he felt the tightness of Lee’s grip clasping his hand in response.   He felt the heat of him suddenly. Hotter than the water that still cascaded upon them. Lee’s soft grunt, breathless on the back of his neck. The flash fire up his back. And thenLee’s forehead resting between his shoulder blades. They both could’ve happily stayed there, just like that, all day but Lee willed himself to move and picked up a nearby sponge, washing away whatever traces the running water alone hadn’t already. He discarded it on the floor as Barney turned around finally to face him again.

“We look like a fucking boy band in the rain.”

 

“We’re a little old for that.”

 

“Speak for yourself.”

 

“My knees did pretty well just now. For an old guy. Didn’t hear you complaining then.” Barney smirked as he reached up to tun the shower off finally. 

 

“Maybe your hearing’s going as well.”

 

Lee stepped out and grabbed two fresh towels,throwing one in Barney’s direction and wrapping the other around his waist for the second time already today.

“Right,” he said, as they went back through to the bedroom.“Here’s the plan for later. I go up there as arranged, turn on the charm again, flirt a bit.Slip one of the pills we brought with us into his drink. Meanwhile…,” he continued as they picked out clothes from the giant wardrobe and Barney admired the nonchalant way he was explaining everything as if they weren’tgetting dressed after having just had sex for the second time today. “….You storm up there, pretending you’ve found out I’m a cheating bastard, and we take out Fake Gunnar and Trench. Drop unconscious Crane off at the rendezvous point for Drummer and Bob’s your uncle, mission complete.“

 

“Just like that?”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“What if something goes wrong?”

 

“That’s what I’ve got you for,” Lee replied with a wink and Barney, still not entirely convinced this would all tie-up so perfectly, couldn't help smiling at his confidence. In both of them.

 

 

“Alright that’s the plan, now are you gonna tell me where we’re going, Christmas?”

 

 

 ** _“We_** are going for a little tour of London, and **_I’m_** gonna be your handsome tour guide.”

 

 

***************

 

“We’re not getting on one of those big buses are we?” Barney asked as they left the lobby about fifteen minutes later and stepped out into a surprisingly sunny day in London.

 

“Christ no, we’re not bloody tourists.We’ll be travelling in style, just the way we do back home.

I know a guy who can sort us out.”

 

Barney raised an eyebrow.

  
“What? You’re not the only one with contacts across the world you know. He owns a garage not far from here, repairs old motorbikes and scooters and rents them out.”

A couple of streets on from there they reached a wide alleyway with a garage at the end of it. A man around Lee’s age, maybe a bit younger Barney guessed, and with significantly more hair, turned around as they got closer.

 

“Mark!”

 

“Lee?! Bloody hell mate, what’re you doing here?”He caught Lee, who had already opened his arms, in a bear hug and they patted each other on the back.

 

“Bit of work actually,”Lee answered before gesturing in Barney’s direction. “But this is my uh….mate Barney. He’s a Yank who hasn’t seen around our lovely city before so I thought I’d show him, can we take a couple of bikes out?”

 

“We can sort that out for ya, yeah,”Mark said as he gave Barney a friendly nod and smile.

Lee started to take out his wallet and Mark put a hand up to stop him. “Put that away. I still owe ya for that night you saved my arse at the Dog And Hen.”

 

“Those arseholes deserved it, and if I remember rightly, you didn’t need much saving.“

 

Mark smiled back at him.“it really is good to see you. Don’t leave it so long next time.”

 

“I’ll do my best.”

 

Right,” he said, waving for them to follow him through to a showroom area. ”Let’s see what we’ve got for ya.”

 

 

                                                                                                                                                                 ************

 

Less than half an hour later, they were out in the city. navigating the streets and heavy traffic riding side by side where they could and the rest of the time one in front of the other, with Lee leading the way. They slowed down or stopped monetarily at the sights that Lee had singled out for Barney to take in, Lee taking on the role of tour guide in his own unique way.

They rode past Buckingham Palace: “That’s where the Queen lives, nice old bird.” And past Big Ben: “Handy if you wanna know the time.”

  
And finally, the place Lee had secretly been looking forward to the most. They pulled in and parked on a street in the shadow of the London Eye, and Barney raised an eyebrow as if to ask, ‘What are we doing here?’, as the got off their bikes.

 

“I’m taking you on _that_.” “Lee answered, pointing upwards with perhaps the biggest grin that Barney had seen on his face since they’d arrived in Britain.

 

The line wasn’t too long but Lee, aware of how little time they had because they needed to get ready for his ‘date’ with Artemis tonight, decided to call in a favour.One of the staff seemed to pale and swallow hard as they approached and Lee leaned in and whispered something in his ear.The young man nodded and let them through, much to the annoyance of other people lined up.

 

“Let me guess,” Barney said as they were ushered into one of the pods and it started it’s very slow oscillation.“You ‘know a guy’. ” All he got in response was another grin from Lee.

 

They sat on the bench like seat in the middle of the pod and looked out the windows as the ground got very gradually farther away.

“Should I even ask what happened at the Dog And Hen? Which I really hope is the name of a pub.”

 

Lee laughed. “Yeah….a few years back we were out for a pint. These lads at the bar had a few too many, one of ‘em put his hands on the barmaid. So we stepped in and they didn’t take too kindly to that.Started shouting we should mind our own business, especially Mark. Then they called him a faggot. “ Lee’s jaw clenched as if even repeating that word made him, angry. “ Said he’d been checking them out.Which was bullshit anyway because I’d been sat opposite him all night and I knew he hadn’t. And…..at the time….the only bloke he was looking at was me. He never said anything, didn’t have to. I just….” Lee looked at him finally. “…knew. You know?”

 

Barney nodded. 

 

“Anyway, I saw red and punched the guy who’d said it but they all came at me. That’s when Mark picked up a pool cue and took three of ‘em out,I dealt with the other two. We kickedtheir arses and they ran for it Then the barmaid gave us free drinks all night.“

 

“Did you… two uh…?” Barney wasn’t sure why that was important to him suddenly, from Lee’s virginity joke in bed earlier on he’d assumed that both of them hadn’t done anything like that before. And yet, he couldn’t help wondering.

 

“I don’t like blokes,” Lee said flatly. “Not like that.Well, I didn’t ….what I mean is I still don’t but….” He laughed nervously looking down at his feet for a moment and Barney just smiled at him.

 

“I get it.”

 

They’d reached a height where they could see for miles, the city now stretched out in front and all around them in a bustling panorama. Lee stood up and went over to the window, looking out and trying to get his bearings until his eyes fell on the area he’d been looking for. He pointed it out for Barney, who joined him at the glass.

“That….right over there if you squint. Is where I’m from.”

 

Barney leaned closer to the glass and not quite accidentally closer to Lee, resting a hand on his shoulder. “I’m glad I got to see it.”

 

“It was good wasn’t it….you know…earlier?” Lee asked into the quiet of the pod a minute or so later.

 

“Which time?” Barney smirked as Lee chuckled softly and looked down at his shoes again. “Yeah, it was good.”

 

“Not sure what happens when we get home though. Christ, we don’t have to start going out on double dates with Trench and Yang do we?”

 

Their laughter echoed around the pod as they both pictured their own version of what that would look like.

“I think…” Barney said with a shrug and a smile. “We do whatever suits us.“

 

Lee nodded. “Sounds good.”

 

The pod fell quiet again, a comfortable silence as they watched the ground get closer.  Barney’s hand was still on his shoulder when he spoke again.

“This was definitely worth it.” He winked at Lee who smirked back at him.

 

“Glad to hear it. Shame we’ve gotta get back.”

 

Barney sighed. ”Yeah, we gotta get prepared .”

 

 

_“That. And uh….I owe you something from earlier remember?”_

 

 

 


	6. A Man Of My Word

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, it's been bloody ages since the last update, so sorry to anyone waiting for this next instalment! It's been very hard getting time and energy to write, and I wanted to take the time to get it right.  
> There are still 2 chapters to come after this one, still the same plan and I can't wait to share them with you asap :)
> 
> Thanks so much again for the support and encouragement for this fic, I really love writing these two and this story is close to my heart :)  
> Really hope you enjoy this one and that it's worth the wait!

 

 

Lee only had one thing on his mind as they got back from sightseeing and he dropped his sunglasses and the room keycard on the small table just inside the door. 

 

“Get your trousers off then.” 

 

Barney raised an eyebrow and put his hands out in a ‘What the hell’, gesture. “He gets dinner and drinks and I get, ‘sit down and take your pants off’?” 

 

“You getting jealous again?”

 

“Who says I stopped?”

 

Lee looked at him, a surprised smirk on his face, before turning and heading through to the minibar. Barney followed him to the lounge and  Lee put a bottle of beer in his hand, then with a mock bow said, “Would you like to sit your arse down Mr Ross, because I’d very much like to reciprocate the blow job you gave me earlier.” 

 

Barney burst out laughing as Lee grinned at him, looking very pleased with himself.  But before he sat down Barney paused, taking a sip from his beer. 

“Why didn't you let me...you know...earlier. In the shower.” 

 

“Where'd that come from?” 

 

Barney shrugged in response.

 

“Look, I wasn’t sure you’d wanna….” Lee shrugged, looking down at the carpet or his shoes or anywhere that wasn’t Barney’s face.  “...or if I wanted you to….”

 

“Spit or swallow?”

 

“Fucks sake, Barney.”

 

“Well, that’s what you meant right?”

 

Lee gave him the, ‘Yeah but I wish you hadn’t said it’ look again in response. 

 

“I’m not gonna mind if you don't. Bathroom’s right there.”  Barney gestured over his own shoulder with the bottle. 

 

“Fine,” Lee said flatly, but with a hint of annoyance in his tone. “Now will you bloody sit down and let me get on with it?”

 

“You’re really eager to suck me off.” 

 

Lee hoped the slight warmth he felt suddenly on his face didn't show as he gestured for Barney to sit. “We made a deal. And I”m a man of my word. Even when it comes to blowjobs apparently.”

 

Smirking again, Barney finally took a seat on the comfortable sofa, drinking his beer as Lee undid his pants and pulled them and his underwear down. 

Discovering that Barney wasn’t hard yet, Lee shook his head. “Have I got to do all the bloody work?”

 

“We just got back, gimme a chance, Christmas. And you obviously haven’t turned me on enough yet.”

 

“Is that a challenge?” Lee stood and climbed onto Barney’s lap, straddling his hips.  He moved against him, undoing his plaid shirt at the same time then pulled it open, exposing the toned, tattooed chest that he’d seen countless times, and noticed for sure, but looked altogether different to him now. _Tantalising. Enticing. **And straight up sexy.**_   Running his hands over it, tracing lines across Barney’s ribcage with his fingertips, Lee bent his head to kiss Barney’s neck, biting in the hollow just above his collarbone, pressing with his tongue. Barney stifled a groan. But Lee heard it and filed it away in his mind to be used later. He could feel Barney getting harder, _and harder_ , against him and glanced down to see what had looked so unexpectedly tantalising to him earlier, what had felt so damn good in his hand, and smiled.

“Now that’s better.”

He stood up and then dropped to his knees again in one swift, fluid movement. Like a gymnast, not a man about to give the first blowjob of his life. He was nervous but it didn't show as he locked eyes with Barney and took hold of him then licked up the full-length of his now rock hard cock from tip to shaft as Barney watched. And then, without looking away, he took Barney into his mouth. Inch by _hard thick inch_ until he almost choked. He slid his hands up the outside of Barney’s thighs and settled them there, gripping hard and started to suck. Bobbing his head back and forth. _Back and forth_. Until his neck ached and his eyes watered. Until his lips went numb from the sensation.  And until the taste of Barney was the only thing his tongue could remember. It was hot when he came. Like good whiskey hitting the back of Lee’s throat. Locking eyes with him again, he slid his mouth slowly from Barney’s length, stood up calmly and walked around the sofa to the bathroom door. 

Barney heard running water from the sink and then Lee was back within seconds, laying a firm hand on his shoulder.

“I’m not done with you yet.”

He walked just as calmly back around the sofa, wiping his wet mouth with the back of his hand,  and once again climbed onto Barney’s lap, kissing him hard. It was rough and hungry and Barney opened his mouth like he hadn’t tasted him for weeks. Like he was dying of thirst and Lee was the only way to quench it.

 

“I thought you were gonna pull the stuffing outta this posh sofa,” Lee said when they finally stopped for air. 

 

“I was leaning my hand on it.”

 

“Your knuckles were white.”

 

“Fuck you, Christmas.”

 

“I think you want to.”

 

Barney tilted his head to one side as he looked at him. “And is that what you want?”

 

“Maybe I wanna do the fucking.”

 

Barney went quiet for a moment, considering whether or not Lee was serious.  “I could live with that.”

 

Now it was Lee’s turn to go quiet, not having expected that reply to what he’d thought was just another snappy comeback in their banter.  “I've got to get ready.’ he said, but didn’t move. 

 

“We still have an hour or two.”

 

“That’s a big step.”

 

“And that’s an understatement.”

 

“Four syllables. You still win.”

 

“Maybe I wanna lose something today. You ready to take it?”

 

And there it was again, the same look on Lee’s face as when Barney had blurted out his confession that morning. 

 

“You’re hard as a rock.” Barney put a hand on his crotch, desperate to grab hold of all that hardness, and started undoing the zipper on Lee’s jeans with his other hand.

 

“Fuck, Barney stop.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Cos’ in a minute I won’t be able to.”

 

“Then don’t.”

 

And suddenly Lee was standing. Because Barney had lifted him as he stood up himself, placing him on his feet like a surprised statue, reminding Lee just how damn strong he was. As if he could ever forget. He watched  Barney walk through to the bedroom, taking his plaid shirt off and discarding it to the carpet as he went. 

And then he followed him. His feet moving before his brain connected, until he was stood in front Barney, now sitting on the edge of the massive bed. Lee pulled his t-shirt off over his head and then a put hand in his pocket. He hesitated before bringing out what was inside, not meeting Barney’s eyes as he dropped a box of condoms and a small tube of lubricant on the bed.

 

Barney raised an eyebrow and couldn’t hide the smirk on his face. He didn't even try. “Oh, you came prepared.”

 

Lee made a face. “Yeah well…” he trailed off and shrugged, still not meeting Barney’s gaze.

 

“Is this what you did when you stopped off at that store on the way back earlier and I waited outside, “

 

Lee nodded.

 

“So much for, ‘I’m just getting a candy bar they only sell over here’, “

 

Lee reached into his other pocket, pulled out a chocolate bar with the word **_‘Bounty’_** emblazoned on the wrapper and tossed that onto the bed too. Barney started to laugh and Lee finally looked at him and grinned. “I’m sneaky but I’m not a liar.”

 

"Come here," Barney said, still chuckling as he put his hands on Lee’s zipper again. This time Lee didn’t tell him to stop.  He b it softly at Lee's hip, dragging teeth and lips across his taut stomach as he pulled his pants and underwear further down and Lee finally allowed himself to grab at Barney's jet black hair. **_With both goddamn hands._** Barney d ragged his clothes all the way down and Lee stepped out of them, then pushed him to lie down and straddled him, reaching for the tube of lubricant. 

 

“Face to face?”

 

Lee nodded as he coated his cock with lube.

 

Barney moved a finger around in the air near his own face in a circular motion.

“You like it that much?” 

 

“It’s slightly more appealing than the back of your head. You’ve got suspiciously dark hair for a man your age.”

 

“At least I have hair.”

 

Lee made a face, a mock hurt expression.   “I’m gonna remember that.”

 

“Make me pay for it later?”

 

“If you’re lucky.” Lee picked up the box of condoms but Barney reached and took it gently from his hand. They looked at each other for a moment, before Lee nodded and picked up the lube again. He squeezed some at Barney’s entrance making him wince at the suddenly cool sensation.

 

“It’s cold and I don’t know what I’m doing, “ Which came from Lee’s mouth as more of a statement of fact than an apology. 

 

“No kidding.”

 

“Just shut up and open your legs.”

 

“Well, that’s romantic.”

 

“I’ll cover the bed with rose petals next time if it’ll make you feel better.”

 

“Next time?”

 

That made Lee stop for a moment, which put another smirk on Barney’s face.

 

“Figure of speech. Now open your bloody legs.”

 

This time Barney did as he was told and Lee positioned himself, before pushing slowly, very slowly in until he was all the way inside, and let out a satisfied sound. Looking down at Barney, and how they were fitting together, feeling the tight warmth of him enveloping his cock, He couldn’t quite believe this was happening. And by the look on his face, neither could Barney. 

He started to thrust. It was tentative, but not as tentative as he thought he should be. He needed this. **_Wanted this._** More than he’d wanted or needed anything, _anyone,_ in a long time. 

 

“You alright?”

 

“You getting sentimental on me, Christmas?”

 

“I just don’t wanna hurt you, old man.”

 

To anyone else that would’ve sounded like another jibe about Barney’s age. But not to Barney. He heard the micropause in the sentence. The way ‘old man’ covered up what Lee was really saying. He leaned up as Lee still thrust in and out and kissed him, biting slightly at his lips, pulling him down closer, like a magnet to metal. Barney felt the short, low moan more than he heard it, a soft vibrato against his own lips and he opened his mouth again, letting Lee inside.  Lee risked going deeper, needing it, sensing that Barney needed it too, like the kiss had been a silent permission. _Maybe this ‘not being great at talking’ thing had its advantages_ he thought to himself as he felt both of Barney's big strong hands on his ass, gripping him tight. 

 

“You’re a biter now? Get your own material.”

 

Barney chuckled breathlessly. “Shut up and finish.”

 

“You giving me orders?” Lee bent his head to bite his favourite spot on Barney’s neck again. “Or….?” 

 

“Yes,” Barney whispered in response to the unspoken question. 

 

Lee reached down with one hand stroking him into a new kind of oblivion as he felt his own orgasm building.  Barney's eyes closed as he came, white-hot splashes falling onto his own skin and Lee’s, burning once again with a now familiarly delicious heat for them both.   Lee slowed his pace down, changing rhythm to suit his own desire. Barney opened his eyes, tightened his grip on Lee’s ass, watching his body flex as he thrust two or three more times. Then he felt it. A hot flow inside him, pulsating with Lee’s shuddering hardness.   Lee leaned back on his own legs, exhausted, inadvertently pulling out a little, looking right at Barney looking up at him.  The only sound in the room, for the second time that day, was their shallow breaths.   He pulled out completely and let himself fall back to lie next to Barney.

“Well, that was….different.”

 

“Thanks for the ringing endorsement.”

 

Lee chuckled breathlessly. “You know what I meant.” 

 

“But good different or….?”

 

Lee turned his head to meet Barney’s eyes. “Well….what did you…. I mean….was it….?”

 

“Jesus Christ, on the count of three we’ll both just say it ok? Was it good for you? One, two, three -”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Good,” Barney said matter of factly as they both broke into grins. “ That's alright then. “

 

“I’m knackered though.”

 

“And I’m gonna need to sit on a cushion or something.” 

Their grins turned to laughter, Lee noticing for the first time how the corners of Barney’s eyes crinkled up when he laughed. And then they fell quiet again.  A good quiet, The kind of quiet they didn’t often get to experience in their line of work. But hanging over them was still the knowledge that this was the calm before the storm.

Lee wasn’t sure how long they’d been lying there but he forced himself to sit up, sensing that the time for his date, or mission, or whatever they were calling it, was getting very close.

“Now I’ve really got to get ready.” 

He patted Barney on the leg as he climbed off the bed and Barney sighed, watching him make his way into the bathroom.

 

                                                                                                                                                                                          ********

 

When he came back Barney was stood near the window in the living room wearing a hotel bathrobe and looking out at the city just as Lee had done last night. Which seemed like a lifetime ago for both of them now. Lee picked out a suit and a crisp white shirt, the silence in the room echoing around him as he did. 

“I think this is the longest I’ve ever known you be quiet for. Gone off me already?” Lee half grinned at him as he did up as his pants.

 

Barney just smiled and shook his head. 

 

“I did hurt ya.” It was a statement not a question and was accompanied by a furrowed brow instead of the half grin.

 

Barney was certainly sore, but that wasn’t what was bothering him right now, so again he shook his head. 

 

“Then what is it?” Lee’s tone was marked with frustration as he walked over to the full-length mirror on the bedroom wall and started doing the buttons up on his shirt.  Instead of answering Barney walked up behind him, standing next to his reflection in the mirror. 

 

“You don’t have to do this.”

 

“You know I do.”

 

Barney’s reflection sighed and gestured for Lee to turn around. He fastened the buttons on his cuffs and adjusted his collar, smoothing it down with two strong hands.  “And I have to stay here while you….” he trailed off, shaking his head. 

  
  


“Listen, it’ll all be over before you know it. We get the bad guy, help the kids, get rid of Drummer again and….”

 

“And?”

 

“Well, we might have time for another shower before we have to get the hell outta this suite.”  Lee winked and Barney couldn't help smiling despite how concerned he was. Lee, he realised, had that effect on him.

He put up his arm and Lee instinctively did the same, bumping them together the way they’d done for years. 

 

“I’ll see you in a bit.” Lee gave him another smile and wink as he headed for the door and Barney nodded, watching it close behind him.


	7. The Spy, The Mercenary, And His Husband

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally! Getting enough time and energy to finish this last chapter has been frustratingly hard but it's finally done and I'm super happy to share it with you at last :) I'm also not used to writing action, (I'm more of a drama, romance and smut writer as you may have noticed, lol) so I've spent some time playing around with that part of the chapter.
> 
> Thanks to everyone who has read, commented and left kudos on this story, it's meant a lot and spurred me on with each chapter.  
> Special mention again goes to dont_be_hasty for being so supportive and encouraging :) 
> 
> Hope you guys enjoy this final instalment! (I have some ideas for future fics btw so watch this space!)

 

 

Lee strode out of the private elevator that led up to Artemis’s suite.  The  Trench and Gunnar lookalikes saw him coming down the short hallway and watched his every step until he reached them at the door. One of them knocked lightly on it, alerting Artemis to Lee’s arrival while the other patted him down. 

 

“I didn’t think I was getting any action till after dinner,” Lee said with a wink at Artemis who now stood in the doorway dressed in a white shirt with the top two buttons undone and black suit pants. 

 

“Better to be safe than sorry. I hope you don’t mind.”

 

“Not at all. I like a man that uses protection.”  Lee’s smirk was mirrored by Artemis who opened the door wider for him to go through. 

The suite was twice the size of the Aquarius that Lee and Barney were staying in and Lee might’ve been impressed if he didn’t already know how Artemis Crane made the money it took to pay for it. 

“Not too shabby," He said, playing to Artemis's ego. “I’m guessing you’re loaded.”

 

“You and Barney are hardly paupers, staying here,” Artemis answered, handing him a glass of red wine. 

 

“We get by. “

 

“I’m sure you do.” 

Artemis was looking him up and down. Calculating him and what he could do with him, Lee guessed.   “You know what you want and you go after it. I like that.”

 

“You like a lot of things about me.” 

 

Artemis stepped closer, head tilted to one side, watching as Lee looked back into his eyes and took a sip of wine. “Indeed I do.”

 

There was suddenly a commotion outside the suite. Artemis moved towards the door, so Lee took the opportunity to swiftly remove one of the almost microscopic pills that Drummer had provided them with from his shirt pocket and drop it into Artemis’s wine glass then joined him at the door.  Fake Trench and Gunnar were holding back a swearing, seemingly intoxicated Barney.

 

“Jesus Christ, Barney. You’re drunk.”

 

“I’m angry.”

 

“Fine, you’re drunk _and_ angry.” Lee sighed. “Don’t cause a scene.”

 

“Barney, why don’t you come in? I’m sure we can sort this out amicably.”

 

Lee shot Artemis a look but he merely shrugged in response. “The more the merrier.” He motioned for his bodyguards to let Barney go and the older man stumbled into the apartment. Artemis closed the door behind him. 

 

“How did you find me anyway?”

 

“I followed you.”

 

Artemis picked up his wine glass and sipped the Merlot, watching the scene in front of him with detached amusement.

 

“We’ve talked about this. I’m not your bloody property. You don’t own me.”

 

“You’re mine!”

 

“No, I’m fucking not!” 

Wow, Lee thought to himself, that summer in drama school that he’d never tell anyone about, not even Barney, was really paying off now. And Barney, he had to admit, wasn’t a bad actor himself. 

 

“Perhaps…..”

 

They both turned to look at Artemis, who was smiling flirtatiously.

 

 “...you’d both like to take this into the bedroom." 

 

“No,” Lee shook his head as Artemis arched an eyebrow. "He wasn't supposed to be here. And he needs to piss off back downstairs." 

 

“Come now, Lee,” Artemis said soothingly, moving closer and tracing a finger along Lee’s jawline. “There’s more than one way to end an argument.” 

 

Barney could feel the anger bubbling just below the surface. He knew that jawline like the back of his hand. Every groove, every centimetre of skin. How Lee’s stubble felt underneath his fingertips. Those very same fingers twitched now, moving almost imperceptibly at his side, desperate to reach forward and grab Artemis away from Lee’s face. 

Then Artemis started to sway slightly. 

 

“Maybe you should sit down,” Lee said quietly, noticing too with silent relief that the sedative in his drink was starting to work. 

 

“I….” Artemis started, swaying even more now as the room began to swirl around him. “I haven’t ….even had that much…” 

The wine glass slipped from his hand and Lee caught it so the sound wouldn’t alert the bodyguards outside, but Artemis fell backwards at the same time.

Suddenly Barney was out of character and a hundred percent sober. He moved forward soundlessly, caught Artemis before he hit the floor and laid him out on the carpet. He’d gone from “belligerent drunk” to his usual cool, and very in control self in a nanosecond and Lee was secretly very impressed. And a little turned on. 

 

“Ready?”

 

Barney nodded so Lee opened the door quickly and suddenly, taking the bodyguards by surprise. He grabbed the Trench lookalike from behind in a chokehold until he passed out while Barney punched Fake Gunnar in the face twice, knocking him out the second time. They dragged them inside and were in the process of binding their hands when they saw movement out of the corners of their eyes.  Looking up slowly they turned to see Artemis rising unsteadily to sit up. 

 

“You didn’t give him enough!”

 

“Well, there’s not exactly a bloody dosage guide on them!” 

 

Lee ran hot hands over his head, trying to think for a moment how he could get more sedative into Artemis who was now blinking and becoming more alert. 

 

“You don’t just have to ingest them.”

 

“You try’na impress me with your vocabulary again?”

 

“They can be absorbed through the skin.” 

 

Lee's brow furrowed for a moment before he realised with a smile what Barney was telling him. He took another pill from his pocket and dropped it into the wine glass that had been his own earlier on, looming over Artemis who looked up at him groggily. 

 

“So….you think you’re some kind of hero, whoever you are? We’re not so different.”

 

“You sell kids for a living. You’re a scumbag.” 

 

“You’re a liar and fake.” Artemis barely managed to raise his hand but Lee could tell he was gesturing at Barney.  

 

Lee stooped down, so he was eye to eye with the man on the floor. “I fake a lot of things. But not that.” He lowered his voice but knew Barney could probably still hear. “ _ Not him.”  _

And with that, he poured the sedative-laced wine over Artemis’s head and stood up again, watching the anger and frustration on his face, thankful he was too under the influence of the sedative to act on it.  His eyes soon closed completely and they both watched him for a minute or so to make sure he was really out this time. Barney quickly went to get the laundry hampers he’d left in the elevator containing hotel staff uniforms and ID badges so they could move around inconspicuously. They threw the bodyguards into one hamper and Artemis in the other, changed swiftly into the uniforms and wheeled one hamper each down to the ground floor, keeping their heads down and using the service elevators and hallways.  When they made it outside to the alley behind the hotel where Barney had parked a van emblazoned with the logo of the laundry company that served the hotel, they worked with medium speed so as not to arouse suspicion, especially when one of the kitchen staff emerged from another backdoor for a smoke break. 

 

“Told you it’d fucking work,” Lee said with a grin as he jumped into the driver's  seat and Barney sat beside him. He grabbed him by the back of his neck and pulled him in, kissing him hard. His lips lingered with contrasting softness, brushing against Barney’s as he pulled back.  “Now let’s get a bloody move on.”

 

“You wanna see Drummer that much? Or you got plans for me?”

 

Lee smiled on one side of his mouth as he started the ignition. The way that made Barney’s lungs forget how to breathe for a moment. 

“What do you think?”

  
  
  


********

  
  
  


“I have to say, I was surprised to get your call earlier, Barney.” Drummer  remarked on the tarmac of a small airstrip just outside the city as they watched his men bundle the still unconscious Artemis and his bodyguards into the plane that was to take them back to the US.   “I thought you’d need more time to get the job done.”

 

“Thanks for the vote of confidence.”

 

“Barney, you’ve gotta learn to take a compliment.” 

 

“I think we have different ideas of what a compliment is.”

 

After a few seconds silence, Drummer said simply, “The victims...the kids and their families, they won’t get to thank you for this. So I will.” He extended his hand first to Barney and then to Lee who both felt more surprised than they let on, each man just nodding once as recognition of what he’d said. 

Drummer turned towards the plane, paused for a moment and turned back. “So….the room is still paid up for the weekend.  Maybe you can.....find some use for it?”

 

Lee and Barney exchanged a look.

“We might be able to, yeah.” 

 

Drummer merely nodded, with a small smile on his face as he put his sunglasses on. 

 

“He bloody knows doesn’t he?” Lee asked rhetorically as they watched him walk up the steps of the plane and disappear inside. 

 

“I think he knew before we did.” 

 

Lee chuckled and shook his head, looking down as they started to walk back across the tarmac. 

 

"Five." Barney said and Lee looked up, meeting his grin with a confused smile. 

"You said 'vocabulary' earlier. That's five syllables, you win." 

 

"Do I get a prize?"

 

“Get me back to the suite, Mr Ross, and you'll find out.” 

  
  
  



End file.
